I know what it was like for me to be pregnant with Shyla as a first time mom. I did not understand the literal heart change that occurs when you bring a life into this world. Your entire being changes. No matter how many people tell you about their own experience about becoming a mother, it is still just that -their experience. But it is still their story. I honor their story and value the different life experiences God has gifted to us, whether or not I can relate directly. Being a storied person means finding humility in other people's experiences. That is the common ground. However, after I gave birth to Shyla I remember needing to connect to any mother who still valued her creative life outside of motherhood. I wanted to connect to moms who had found a way to keep their artistic selves alive and whole within the piles and piles of dirty diapers, chores, and doctor's appointments (lets add work on the list for me). There had to be more. I had just created a little life that lived inside my body for 9 months, I longed to replicate that creation through photography and art. I wanted Shyla to have a mother that created beautiful things because she was a created and beautiful creature. To be honest, I didn't aniticipate this sort of mental urge. I anticipated change, but not a hunger for a creative community that made art because they saw their kids as nature's amazing artwork. But I did hunger for that, and I found a beautiful creative community both in St. Louis and through the arts and lifestyle online blogging community to share my ideas and artistic ventures with. These connections make me feel whole and remind me that God calls us to live a life where creativity and vulnerability merge together to generate relationship.
As I count down the days to Asher's due date I remind myself of one of my mottos in life "You Don't Know What You Don't Know." I have no idea what I am going to anticipate as my heart expands into loving another little Luke and Julie progyny named Asher. However, one thing I can say, is that no matter what, I know I can anticipate that loving another little being makes me dig deeper into my story of living wholeheartedly and modeling this to my Shyla and Asher. I can promise this to them as their mother.
My friend Alyce shared this artist's facebook page with me. I had to share it on here. It is a visual reminder that January can be beautiful. This is an illustration by an artist in Mexico named Gennine. She has monthly desktop calendar downloads. This is January's.
You can download this desktop image here.
Visit her on facebook here.
Her art blog: here.
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