Sunday, November 25, 2012

No Superhuman Thankgiving Here.

Thanksgiving this year was simple but refreshing.  It was our first Thanksgiving without Luke's dad.

Although Luke doesn't always talk about it, I could tell it was on his heart the majority of the day.

We remembered Fred at dinner and prayed for us remember him in varying way over the course of years to come.  Yellow Flowers, Cowboy Hats,  K-State Purple, and Western Culture--those are things that will always remind me of my father in law.

My parents came into town and we ate at a restaurant this year considering this is a giant year of transition. Next year, I am praying for a traditional year of normalcy.  No pregnancies, no moves...just peace and stability.

We took a Thanksgiving Day Walk around the neighborhood:

My dad played the Beatles on his iTunes account the entire walk.   He played Let It Be and Hey Jude on repeat.  It was fantastic!  

My friend Leslie was in town for Thanksgiving.  I had the opportunity to spend about two hours with her for the first time in 6 months.  It was so great to see her.  It is funny seeing people that mostly connect with me via text, e-mail, facebook, or this blog.  She told me that as an onlooker of my life, it always seems like I handle life's challenges with grace and a forward thinking attitude.  That was like the compliment of the century.  I think hanging out with your friends that hear about your struggles as a narrative are a great reminder of the bigger picture.  They remind you that from far away, your life is full of depth, growth, and grace.  I *needed* to be reminded of that this weekend...especially since I generally just feel like I am stumbling from one life obstacle to the next since 2008...or really maybe its just a pattern of behavior I just roll into.  I get tired of being brave, growing, digging deep.  Sometimes i just want things to be the same.  Right now I crave peace.  I crave joy.  I crave monotony. However, I know that is something I can feel right now if I choose to do so --even around the chaos.

I see community wanting to help with Luke and I's current transition after I looked our December Calendar.  Life is moving next month for sure, but not without help from the best people I know.  I am not in a chapter of my life where I need to prove ANYTHING to the world.  No need to prove my superhuman abilities of being able to take it all on at once.  I will tell you right now, I have failed SO MUCH when I attempt that.
I am hoping I have grown out of that need in my life (thanks to reading lots of Brene Brown, Shauna Niequist, and Anne Lamott).  I am not really sure what race I thought I was winning.  God doesn't find me in those places when I am trying to be superhuman.  God shows up through asking for help, being vulnerable to myself and community, and being real with my expectations. That's what this this holiday season and personal season is all about for me.

I loved this weekend because I got to go to yoga, created family photo albums, hung Christmas Lights, bought some very cute handmade presents. It has been beautiful to have these moments while organizing our place and finances to buy our house in the next few weeks.

Happy Thanksgiving!  Happy Holidays.

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