Saturday, September 1, 2012

I am Who I am Because You Are Who You Are

"Tell me what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"-Mary Oliver

DISCLAIMER: It's been two years since I started this blog.  There are two things I have realized I have failed at in the past that I am going to re-engage in 1)blogging  2) being a part of a small group at my church The Gathering United Methodist Church..  Blogging and small groups both represent different  and personal commitments. They are commitments I tend to just "let go" of and then come to realize how meaningful and beautiful each piece could be if I just laid down the roots and let them connect to the core.

So here I am, two years later after my first and only post about moving back to the midwest after a short stint in Seattle, WA and becoming a mother.  To be honest, I have mixed feelings about blogging about my life, but then I noticed myself in love with the blogs of Brene Brown, Kelle Hampton, and Shauna Niequist who tell the story of the life they were born into and share their humanity of heartache, beauty, and connection with millions of people out there in cyberspace who deeply connect with their humanity and honesty.  I am one of them.   Then, I go through periods of my life where I want to "dare greatly" and put my thoughts and stories about the beautiful, heartbreaking, loving, bittersweet moments that exist in my own life "out there". So here I will begin to tell my story for myself and anyone that loves to be reminded of the bittersweet experiences that come with embracing our humanity.

Luke and I moved to St. Louis, MO on August 20, 2010.  My daugther, Shyla, was 4 weeks old the day we moved into our apartment in University City.  Fast forward 2 years and here we are today.  Assimilating to St. Louis has been one of the hardest experiences of my life.  Uprooting myself (someone who emotionally and spiritually thrives when roots are laid down) and regrowing roots as I evolved into this new role of motherhood is the single most challenging and beautiful experience of my life.  Reading the books "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown was one of the most profound books I read during this season of my life.  The message in that book are still truths I carry inside of me today.  I feel blessed with the amazing friendships I have had the honor of experiencing in St. Louis.  I couldn't ask for a more amazing group of friends. Cultivating new friendships and connections as a mother was a completely foreign experience to me. I have to say that I am still and always eating the fruit of the labor of that endeavor...always.  To quote the Ubuntu African Philosophy:  "I am who I am because you are who you are."  

The only way I know how to tell this story is by starting with where I am today: As of today I am 5 months pregnant with baby no. 2.  We find out what this little bean is on Wednesday.  Luke and I are both excited about this next adventure and are open to whatever lessons we will learn from this child.  God knows Shyla has taught us so much about being alive and loving with an open heart.  I am currently reading this book called "Bloom" by the blogger I mentioned above Kelle Hampton.  It is her memoir about her second pregnancy with her little girl, Nella, who was born with Down Sydrome. Initially, the thought of reading someone else's story of trials through pregnancy number 2 just did not feel entertaining or psychologically healthy to me.  However, after watching the trailer of her book,  I am daring myself to read Kelle's book as a challenge to have a heart similar to hers in the face of the unknown (as every pregnancy is an unknown).  I am remember that the tiny little package I am carrying in my stomach is going to be one of the greatest earthly teachers God will ever give me.  

Creating time in my schedule to read books that will challenge and enlighten my entire core is my current venture.  This is my second book in this current quest.  The first one was "Ubuntu: I Am Because We Are" by Michael Battle.  So here I am beginning to start my next advantageous read: Bloom by Kelle Hampton. Literary Boot Camp continues...and so will this blog.

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