Saturday, May 4, 2013
Old Skool Julie
This was one of those weeks where life had a funny way of just laying heavy and frustrating situations on top of me. Situations, where in the past, my reflex reaction would be to go into "do-er mode." Do-er mode and I are not a good match. Do-er mode is my "wonder woman" personae where I put on the mirage that I can take the world on and look like a million bucks doing it. I have come to learn that this approach to life just doesn't work for me when life responsibilities increase. My ugly type-A personae comes out (and she is ugly). She is impatient, obsessive about productivity, and getting things done on her watch---frantic.
My anxiety builds when I go into this thought process and I stress for no reason.
Then, there is the true me. I call her "Old Skool" julie. This is the artist in me--the one that doesn't obsess over time or freak out about minor increases in responsibility because Old Skool Julie creates space in her weekend for creativity, innovation, and reflection. She sees friends, paints, prays, meditates, and turns her phone off. She is self-aware of the emotional boundaries that live in her personal relationships, and can clearly see the spiritual roots in her life, even when she has no clue where or what she is doing (which is always). She celebrates other people's successes and knows that the only way she can accept love from others to see herself from God's point of view. She does yoga, she reads inspiring books, and always puts her finger on the pulse of her truest intent. She finds answers by asking questions.
Old Skool Julie can feel God's heartbeat. Old Skool Julie knows that her time is valuable and that the people she chooses to be around define the quality of it.