Monday, October 22, 2012

; Quiet minds don't know their worth; They know what to do;

I don't even know where to begin about today.  This is me and Shyla's "kiss it monday" face.

Except I feel like I could be taking better self-care of myself.  I was up way too late last night working on a project for work and just felt tired and cranky. I even asked someone today if it was possible to feel gratitude and frustration at the same time.  To be honest sometimes I feel guilty for feeling frustrated when I have so many blessings in my life.  Sometimes I feel like my neurotic thoughts are just whining and complaining.  But this is real.  I have hard days.  I have days where I feel like the work I am doing professionally is not enough (which is a total perfectionists neurotic mental process).  Sometimes I have obsessive thoughts where I wonder if my superiors are just amusing me by keeping me employed.  It comes from a place of scarcity.  My work is both a passion and cancerous mast inside of me.  It can create moments of complete satisfaction of beauty and moments of obsessive thoughts of scarcity.
Tonight I carved a pumpkin with the Bean and just decided to let go of my anxiety and reciting this beautiful lyric from passion pit tonight:

"But it's the thought that counts; Quiet minds don't know their worth; They know what to do; So I'll pray for them and I'll pray you; until my face turns blue." -Passion Pit's "Let Your Love Grow Tall"

So I am just going to snuggle in my bed with Shyla and take funny photos with my iPad while Luke falls asleep watching X-Files after a long weekend of events at Vom Fass and feel grateful and proud of these little moments where time like this is enough, knowing I am frustrated and embracing the little moments like this.

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