Monday, October 22, 2012
; Quiet minds don't know their worth; They know what to do;
I don't even know where to begin about today. This is me and Shyla's "kiss it monday" face.
Except I feel like I could be taking better self-care of myself. I was up way too late last night working on a project for work and just felt tired and cranky. I even asked someone today if it was possible to feel gratitude and frustration at the same time. To be honest sometimes I feel guilty for feeling frustrated when I have so many blessings in my life. Sometimes I feel like my neurotic thoughts are just whining and complaining. But this is real. I have hard days. I have days where I feel like the work I am doing professionally is not enough (which is a total perfectionists neurotic mental process). Sometimes I have obsessive thoughts where I wonder if my superiors are just amusing me by keeping me employed. It comes from a place of scarcity. My work is both a passion and cancerous mast inside of me. It can create moments of complete satisfaction of beauty and moments of obsessive thoughts of scarcity.
Tonight I carved a pumpkin with the Bean and just decided to let go of my anxiety and reciting this beautiful lyric from passion pit tonight:
"But it's the thought that counts; Quiet minds don't know their worth; They know what to do; So I'll pray for them and I'll pray you; until my face turns blue." -Passion Pit's "Let Your Love Grow Tall"
So I am just going to snuggle in my bed with Shyla and take funny photos with my iPad while Luke falls asleep watching X-Files after a long weekend of events at Vom Fass and feel grateful and proud of these little moments where time like this is enough, knowing I am frustrated and embracing the little moments like this.