Overcoming the Lie: My Phantom Limb Pain

This is a blog entry to promote the Overcome the Lie Campaigin: inspiring a generation of women to overcome many of the lies we tell ourselves because God created us in His image.

The people who know me just through this blog mostly see my creative endeavors. I am also a teacher of the visually impaired and a technology specialist for children with special needs. This blog was originally created for me to focus on my creative endeavors and hold me accountable to filling up a space with something creative -even if it was just an Instagram photo collage. It was a way for me to remember my "Phantom Limb" as Austin Kleon describes it:

"you can cut off a couple passions and only focus on one, but after a while, you'll start to feel phantom limb pain."

I have my Bachelor of Fine Arts in Art History and Mix Media. When I graduated from college I thought I was going to become a photographer or get my PhD in African Art History, but then I burned out whole heartedly from the art world. After 10 plus years creating art, I fried and burned. I was jaded by the negative aspects that comes with living and breathing art.  I longed to connect to people in an authentic way, but lacked the ideas on how to connect that to art.  My art became stale and frankly so did I.  In 2006, I got a job as a paraprofessional to special needs kids in Kansas City, KS. I loved it so much that I decided to put my career as an artist in hold for a bit as I explored my skill development as teacher of the visually impaired. I learned Braille, educational/assistive technology, and got my feet wet in the world of Social work by working on my Master's Degree in Special Education and in my current position. For the last six years I have been teaching children with visual impairments Braille, independent living skills, adaptive technology, and supporting their families by providing resources. However, in the last two years my phantom limb pain for the artist in me and yearning for the color, funk and flair of the art world continued to become more and more apparent.  Remembering that side of me that creates, lives outloud, wears funky scarves, bold earrings, photographs the hearts and souls of people wanted so desperately to connect to the social service worker in me. The mothers of children with visual impairments that I work with inspire me everyday.  Sometimes their stories are so heavy I take it home with me.  But sometimes the things I see at work inspire me to art journal and build on my passion for authentic living.  

For the longest time, I thought we should only focus on that one passion so we could really master it, but the older I get the more I realize that God wants us to use all our passions and talents to work. Focusing on just one of my gifts is a lie I am choosing to overcome in this chapter of life. If we are living passionate, beautiful lives then chances are we are finding that we have gifts and interests that exceed just our vocation or the one talent we have chosen to focus on.  I struggle with the way this looks in my life.  I struggle with the balance, but I am choosing to not struggle on what to focus on.  Instead, I am choosing to create space in the time allowed to create, photograph, and share my work.  I am choosing to use my current "9-5" as a place to find inspiration.  In the line of work I do, there are so many stories to retell through creation and experimentation.  

Because really art and creation should be ingrained in every part of my life.  I just need to create the space to tell the story in a creative format.  Living a life where one aspect of it inspires the next is my truth to overcome lie that we should only focus on one of our passions at a time.

If you are interested in connecting with the Overcome the Lie Campaign you can:

Follow us on Twitter @overcomethelie or like us on facebook at www.facebook.com/overcomethelie

Overcoming the Lie: Being Enough

This week writers, artists, bloggers, in a few networks I am a part of are celebrating "Overcome The Lie: a social media campaign focused on breaking free from the lies we as women have been told, maybe even believed, and celebrating our stories of how we have overcome any lie, big or small!"  I have teamed up with Ashley Beaudin, who is a writer and activist over at: The Story Project, and other writers, activists and artists

in this awesome campaign focusing on overcoming the lies we have told ourselves.

I used to think to feel loved I needed to keep achieving. But now I know that to feel loved I need to pursue my God-given passions without the expectation of achievement.

I fall into the gap of 25-34 year old Americans who have more degrees and letters behind their names that people don't even know what exactly we are certified to do after a point. I have a bachelors degree in fine arts, a special education certification, and 2 other teaching related certifications on top of those. I am guilty of going after more school certifications with a scarcity mentality.

That isn't to say that people who decide to keep achieving are not working from a place of passion. I can only speak from my heart and motivations here. My obsession with school comes from a place of wanting more then what had been given to me at that very moment in life. I wanted someone to promise me that I would make more money with each new letter at the end of my name.  So I would work my hind end off for months and months, neglecting time with my family and friends all in the name of achievement and progress.  I am passionate about education and the certifications that I hold.  They are areas that are extremely creative, collaborative, and innovative.  However, before I go looking at school programs for another set of letters to put at the end of my name, I have to look at the inner-desires of my heart.

Overcoming this lie came during my pregnancy with Asher (so not that long ago). I spent much of my pregnancy reading beautiful books like "Bloom" by Kelle Hampton and "Love Does" by Bob Goff.  Those books talk about living passionate lives, being present in our current relationships, being creative, and loving with a heart for the reality of enough.  As long as we are living passionate lives, there will always be enough.

I want the time to parent my children to take risks, love big, and be present to God's purpose for their own life .I want to take them to art museums, farmer's markets, Ireland, and Thailand.  I want to teach them that really living your life is about being open to the invitation to embracing all of life's little moments as big celebratory events.  2 more years in school doesn't teach that.  Being present with my family, best friends and community allows me to keep the tank full at the level of "enough."