As a Christian, I want to be open about addressing how mental health impacts my very own relationship with God. When my brain starts moving quickly when I am in the presence of someone who is deeply hurting, I know they can sense I am not really present with them. I can be distracted and deep into 20 other thoughts that come into my brain. When this happens, I have also lost their trust to connect and be vulnerable. And then I have lost my ability to truly listen and learn. Since I believe God manifests himself through our personal relationships, letting those 20 other thoughts rule my brain in the presence of someone else's struggle prevents me from truly feeling the presence of God. This way of thinking is just not alright for me anymore.
So this morning, I woke up, opened up my brand new RX of Strattera after praying over the pill bottle and let the good Lord do His work through the magic of prescription medicine. I went to yoga and cried through every pose and for the first time in years, I was fully present in the feeling of each pose. I was able to focus on how beautiful my body felt being in stillness, lengthening, strengthening--truly just being. This is true restoration and healing. Mental and spiritual restoration is a packaged deal of counseling, medication, exercise, prayer and community. This is my net. One entity of this net cannot exist without the others.
I guess if I can't change the fact that I have this disease, I am going to own it.